Well, I am now in Minneapolis, MN. It took me about 24 hours to get here. I started out from Virginia stopped at my uncles house in Indianapolis, IN; I broke it up into two 12 hour days. The trip went fast; however, I noticed that I really struggled to get into God's presence during the trip. I know it is going to take time to get past the hurt of leaving my friends and loved ones. But, I think the distance I am experiencing from God is something deeper. I think I am going to have to push harder now to get into God's presence. I think this is the beginning of a "new level" of my relationship with God. I don't like the term new level. So to clarify my comment: I believe this is the beginning of a greater level of dependence on God. I don't know what that looks like, but I think that is part of the reason why I am up here.
Jeremiah 17:7-8
7 "But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. 8 He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."
(What does complete dependence on God look like? And, how do you maintain it despite the ups and downs of life?)I need to see how far these wounds go down. (Lord you are a healer)I will start regimenting my fasting and praying along with my devotional times and working out. I need God now. I need to grow: I can't I lead anyone else into a vibrant relationship with Him unless I am there myself. With all that has happened I don't feel crushed but I do feel broken. I am going to be unloading the 20 foot U-haul truck tomorrow.
3 comments:
Wow...so real. It's good to see a Christian, a Leader, A man who is called, be so transparent, so real about his feelings and what he's really going through. Not pretenious or watered down. But, most of all how you are just standing and expecting. That's the kind of man I look forward to hearing the voice of God from, especially once your wilderness experience is over...God Bless You.
From Oswald Chambers 'If You Will Ask' - God has trusted you in the most intimate way He could trust you, with an absolute silence, not of despair but of pleasure, because He saw you could stand a much bigger revelation than you had at the time.
Min. Bass, you asked what does complete dependence on God look like & how do you maintain it despite the ups & downs of life.
It's when He's your only way out. You maintain it by praising him in spite of, crying out to him, and trusting Him in this unfamiliar place.
God assures us in Psalm 147:3 that He heals the broken hearted and bandages their wounds.
I pray that the Lord be magnified in your heart, mind, and spirit and that His peace surrounds your children.
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